


The Serpent's Muggle

by NocturnalNighthawk



Series: The Serpent and his Muggle [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Sane Voldemort, Someone gonna get Crucio'd!, Wizard/Muggle Relationship, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 15:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnalNighthawk/pseuds/NocturnalNighthawk
Summary: A hungry Voldemort meets a kind muggle.





	The Serpent's Muggle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miraculous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculous/gifts).



The Dark Lord Voldemort, Fear of the Wizarding World, He Who Must Not Be Named, Leader of the Dark Side, Scourge of the Light and Muggles, sighed in frustration as he gazed up at the Tesco's sign. His stomach grumbled and he put his hand on it contemplatively as he considered whether or not he was hungry enough to go into this muggle convenience store for a sandwich. He brought out his coin purse, opened the muggle money side, and stared at the contents.

     He picked out a £5 bill and went inside the convenience store, muttering the entire way about useless minions and house elves and who is getting crucio'd for letting their lord go hungry. Voldemort picked up a club sandwich and brought it to the register. The cashier rang it up and The Dark Lord was surprised when the man began talking to him.

     "How was your day? You're looking kind of rough around the edges, mate."  
Voldemort looked up and registered the man's name, Barry, and replied, "My evil minions can't even get their Lord a sandwich. How do you think I'm doing?"

     "I hear ya, I hear ya. I'm the manager of this store, although I'm thinking of leaving soon and just working from home. My employees can't do anything right either sometimes. That'll be £2.50, sir."  
Voldemort handed the money over, and in a rare feeling of solidarity (with a muggle! Someone is getting crucio'd tonight for sure!) suggested the man keep the change and walked out, waving over his shoulder at the "Have a nice night!" That cheerily followed him out of the building.

      A few months later, Voldemort was planning out a raid on a muggle town when he heard someone call out to him.

     "Hey Mr. Evil-Lord-Fella! Mr. Club Sandwich!" He spun around angrily to see who had the absolute gall to yell for him like that in the middle of the day when he saw the cashier at Tesco. His hair was brown and slicked back; and he was dressed in khakis and wore a white shirt with a black tie under a neon green sweater vest. He looked very...ordinary.

     "Hello, Barry. Did you need something?"

     "Well, I've been thinking about you see, and, well, I just wanted to know...are you hungry?"

     Voldemort cocked an eyebrow at the man and stared at him for a while. "Am I...hungry?"

     "Yeah! You know, I thought we could go out and get a bite to eat or something. It's on me." He added cheerfully, fidgeting with his brown mustache where he stood under the sharp gaze directed at him.

     "...Well, I suppose. Lead the way."  
   

     "Alright! By the way, what's your name?" Bobby asked, looking up at his companion with kind brown eyes.

     "My name?" Voldemort thought for a second and looked back down at the muggle.    

     "My name is Mark Thomas Riddle. It's nice to meet you, Barry."

     "Likewise!"


End file.
